How Often Should Couples Go to Therapy And Why Investing Now Can Save You Money Later

When couples ask how often to schedule sessions, I usually say: start weekly for 6–8 weeks, then taper to bi-weekly, and eventually monthly maintenance as things stabilize. Why weekly at first? Because momentum matters. When emotions are raw, trust is wobbly, or communication is breaking down, spacing sessions too far apart can mean reheating the same fight over and over. Intensive, focused work early on helps you build skills faster and stop the “same-old cycle” before it calcifies.

And here’s the practical truth: the more dire your needs are, the more important it is to invest in couples therapy now. Waiting tends to make problems more entrenched—and more expensive.

The Money Math: Therapy vs. Divorce

• Divorce has real, measurable costs. A widely cited survey by Nolo/Martindale-Nolo found average divorce costs in the U.S. vary dramatically by complexity—from several thousand dollars to well over $20,000+ when cases go to trial on one or more issues. nolo.com
  More recent roundups drawing on the same research put typical totals in the $11,000–$23,000+ range, excluding the non-legal expenses that pile up (two households, moving, furnishings, etc.). Investopedia+1

• Divorce can shrink household income. A 2025 U.S. Census working paper found that when parents divorce, household income typically drops by about half as one home becomes two; even a decade later, only about half of that loss is recovered on average. Census Bureau

• Today’s divorce rate (for the 45 reporting states and D.C.) is 2.4 per 1,000 people (provisional 2023), which is lower than in prior decades but still affects hundreds of thousands of families annually. CDC
  (For context on recent trends, see the Census Bureau’s 2024 analysis showing divorce rates declining from 2012–2022.) Census.gov

Compare that with the cost of therapy: even if you invested, say, 10–15 weekly sessions up front and then tapered, your total is typically a fraction of a contested divorce—and you keep the skills, clarity, and co-created agreements whether you stay together or consciously uncouple.

Why Marriages End (and What We Target in Therapy)

Research consistently identifies a handful of core drivers behind divorce in the U.S.:

• Lack of commitment, infidelity, and too much conflict/arguing are repeatedly cited at the top of the list in peer-reviewed work. PMC

• Newer survey work also highlights lack of family support, alongside lack of intimacy, compatibility issues, financial stress, and parenting differences—with patterns shifting by how long a couple has been married. Forbes+1

In session, we go straight at these drivers: rebuilding trust after injuries, lowering conflict reactivity, aligning on money and roles, and restoring intimacy and connection. Early weekly cadence helps you practice (not just talk about) these skills in real time.

A Smart Investment: Preventive Care for Your Relationship

Think of weekly sessions like physical therapy after an injury: small, consistent reps change the system faster than sporadic workouts. In couples therapy, that looks like:

1. Stabilize the cycle (weekly): De-escalate hot topics, map your pattern, and learn the micro-skills that stop spirals before they start.

2. Rebuild trust & intimacy (bi-weekly): Repair hurts, negotiate roles and money, and rekindle closeness with structured exercises.

3. Maintain resilience (monthly): Review what’s working, adjust agreements, and tune up communication before little issues become big ones.

This isn’t just “nice to have”, it’s financially protective. Each avoided blow-up, each clarified agreement, each co-regulated conversation is money you’re not spending on attorneys, a second lease, duplicated furniture, and time off work to handle court logistics. (Remember that documented post-divorce income drop.) Census Bureau

“We’re on the brink. Should we go more often?”

If your situation is acute—affair fallout, separation ambivalence, high-conflict cycles, or major gridlock—front-loading care (weekly or even short-term twice-weekly intensives) is usually more effective than stretching sessions thin. It’s also cheaper than months of stalemate that ends in a rush to legal solutions.

What About the “Average” Divorce Cost You See Online?

You’ll see different numbers because cases vary (children, property, business ownership, contested issues). Still, credible legal consumer sources and industry surveys are clear on two points:

• Simple, low-conflict divorces cost far less; conflict and trial time drive costs dramatically higher (into the tens of thousands). nolo.com

• Attorney time is the primary cost center, with typical hourly rates and timelines driving the totals. Investopedia

Therapy’s ROI comes from lowering conflict, clarifying decisions, and—if you do separate—navigating a humane, well-structured uncoupling that keeps legal complexity (and cost) down.

Our Approach at Witness Therapy (Seattle & Statewide Virtual)

At Witness Therapy, we specialize in conflict communication, repair after injuries, and conscious uncoupling when staying married is no longer the healthiest path. We recommend:

• Weekly 50- or 75-minute sessions for 6–8 weeks,

• Then bi-weekly for 1–2 months,

If money is tight, we’ll prioritize the highest-leverage skills first (de-escalation, structure for repair conversations, role/finance alignment) so you see traction quickly.

Bottom Line

• Therapy now: predictable investment, skill building, and a better relationship—together or apart.

• Delay or avoid: higher odds of entrenched conflict and the steep, well-documented financial and emotional costs of divorce.

If your needs are dire, your investment should match the moment. Reach out, and let’s design a cadence that protects your relationship—and your future.

Sources

• Divorce rates (latest provisional national figures): CDC/NCHS FastStats – Divorce rate 2.4 per 1,000 population in 2023 (45 states & D.C.). CDC
  Trend context: U.S. Census Bureau, “How Does Your State Compare With National Marriage and Divorce Trends?” (Oct. 8, 2024). Census.gov

• Average divorce costs: Nolo/Martindale-Nolo consumer survey on divorce costs and the impact of going to trial on one or more contested issues. nolo.com
  Additional summarized cost ranges drawing on industry surveys (Investopedia; Motley Fool 2025). Investopedia+1

• Financial impact of divorce on households: U.S. Census Bureau Working Paper (May 13, 2025), Divorce, Family Arrangements, and Children’s Adult Outcomes. Census Bureau

• Common reasons for divorce (peer-reviewed): Scott, Rhoades, Stanley, & Allen (2013). Lack of commitment, infidelity, and conflict/arguing frequently cited. PMC

• Additional recent survey perspective on reasons: Forbes Advisor coverage (e.g., “Leading Causes of Divorce: 43% Report Lack of Family Support”). Forbes

Ready to start? I offer weekly starts and structured intensives in Seattle and statewide via secure telehealth. Let’s protect what matters most—before it gets more expensive.