Many people are drawn to relationship structures that differ from traditional monogamy, whether they’re seeking more autonomy, more connection, or a relationship model that better aligns with their values. Research in relationship and sexuality studies shows that consensual non-monogamy—when practiced intentionally—can support meaningful, healthy, and emotionally connected partnerships (Conley et al., 2013; Moors et al., 2017).
Therapy can offer a grounded space to sort through questions, clarify desires, and build the communication skills needed to navigate these relationships with care.

Consensual Non-Monogamy (CNM)

CNM is an umbrella term for any relationship structure in which partners mutually agree that exclusivity is not required. It includes romantic, emotional, or sexual openness, as long as it is consensual and transparent among all involved (Conley et al., 2013).

Areas of Exploration in Therapy

Clients often use therapy to:

Understand why they feel drawn to CNM
Explore internalized beliefs about jealousy or ownership
Strengthen communication around needs and expectations
Establish agreements that support trust and clarity
Differentiate between boundaries, agreements, and personal limits

Research consistently shows that CNM relationships thrive when partners communicate openly and revisit agreements over time (Moors et al., 2017).

Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM)

ENM is often used interchangeably with CNM, but the emphasis falls on ethics—consent, fairness, and honesty. Literature on ENM highlights the importance of transparency, emotional care, and equitable decision-making (Barker & Langdridge, 2010; Henrich & Trawinski, 2016).

What Therapy Can Support

Developing shared ethical frameworks
Addressing power differences around time, emotional labor, or resources
Navigating privacy and transparency
Clarifying what “fairness” means in your particular dynamic

Therapy also supports clients in identifying and interrupting patterns that might unintentionally exclude or disadvantage certain partners.

Polyamory

Polyamory involves engaging in multiple romantic or emotionally intimate relationships at the same time, with everyone’s knowledge and consent. Polyamory centers on emotional connection, relational depth, and the belief that love isn’t inherently limited (Barker, 2005; Sheff, 2014).

Focus Areas in Therapy

Exploring relationship configurations (e.g., non-hierarchical, kitchen-table, parallel)
Understanding experiences such as compersion, jealousy, or fears of exclusion
Navigating public disclosure, stigma, or family concerns
Balancing time and emotional availability
Building secure attachment across multiple intimate relationships

Research on polyamorous families shows that stigma and invisibility are common stressors, and therapy can provide a place to process these experiences (Sheff, 2014).

Open Relationships

Open relationships generally involve emotional exclusivity with a primary partner, while allowing for sexual openness outside the relationship. The structure varies widely and can be tailored to fit each couple’s needs (Rubel & Burleigh, 2020).

Common Themes Brought to Therapy

Determining what kinds of openness feel supportive
Deciding how much information partners want to share
Managing differences in desire or interest
Repairing hurts or misunderstandings when agreements shift or are unclear
Navigating new relationship energy (NRE) with care and accountability

Research emphasizes the importance of collaboratively negotiated agreements for long-term satisfaction in open relationships (Rubel & Burleigh, 2020).

How Therapy Helps Across All Structures

A Collaborative Space for Clarity and Communication

Partners often discover that their communication habits need to evolve as they transition into new relational terrain. Therapy can help you slow down long enough to name your needs clearly.

Attachment-Informed Guidance

Secure attachment can be cultivated in CNM relationships. This may include reassurance rituals, transparent communication, and a clearer sense of emotional accessibility.

Support Through Transitions

Opening a relationship, redefining boundaries, or closing a structure requires care. Therapy helps partners move through change at a pace that feels regulated and intentional.

A Nonjudgmental Space to Explore Jealousy or Fear

Jealousy is a normal human emotion, not a sign of failure. Therapy can help identify what jealousy is signaling, and how partners can respond with compassion rather than reactivity.

Understanding Stigma and Community Context

Non-monogamous people often navigate misconceptions or judgment. Working with a non-pathologizing therapist helps clients separate internal experiences from external stigma.

Recommended Books

These titles are grounded in research or widely cited in academic discussions of CNM, sexuality, and relational health.

Polyamory & CNM

Fern, J. (2020). Polysecure.
Kauppi, M. (2021). Polyamory: A Clinical Toolkit for Therapists (and Their Clients).
Veaux, F., & Rickert, E. (2014). More Than Two.

Open Relationships

Taormino, T. (2008). Opening Up.

Relationship Skills & Social Narratives

Easton, D., & Hardy, J. (2017). The Ethical Slut (3rd ed.).
Barker, M.-J. (2013). Rewriting the Rules.

Exploring Your Relationship Structure with Support

Whether you’re curious about non-monogamy, already practicing it, or navigating a transition, therapy can help you explore these questions with intention and care. Witness Therapy® offers affirming, attachment-informed support for individuals and couples seeking alternative relationship structures.

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References (APA 7)

Barker, M. (2005). This is my partner, and this is my… partner’s partner: Constructing a polyamorous identity in a monogamous world. Journal of Constructivist Psychology, 18(1), 75–88.

Barker, M., & Langdridge, D. (Eds.). (2010). Understanding non-monogamies. Routledge.

Conley, T. D., Moors, A. C., Matsick, J. L., & Ziegler, A. (2013). The fewer the merrier? Assessing stigma surrounding consensually non-monogamous romantic relationships. Analyses of Social Issues and Public Policy, 13(1), 1–30.

Easton, D., & Hardy, J. (2017). The ethical slut (3rd ed.). Ten Speed Press.

Fern, J. (2020). Polysecure: Attachment, trauma and consensual nonmonogamy. Thornapple Press.

Henrich, R., & Trawinski, C. (2016). Couples and family therapy with sexual and gender minority clients. In The handbook of systemic family therapy. Wiley.

Kauppi, M. (2021). Polyamory: A clinical toolkit for therapists (and their clients). Routledge.

Moors, A. C., Matsick, J. L., Ziegler, A., Rubin, J. D., & Conley, T. D. (2017). Stigma toward consensually nonmonogamous relationships: Robust and worthy of additional research. Current Opinion in Psychology, 13, 70–74.

Rubel, A. N., & Burleigh, T. J. (2020). Intrasexual competition and relationship satisfaction in consensually non-monogamous relationships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 37(6), 1878–1898.

Sheff, E. (2014). The polyamorists next door: Inside multiple-partner relationships and families. Rowman & Littlefield.

Exploring CNM, ENM, Polyamory & Open Relationships: How Therapy Can Support Your Journey